F1 Showdown 2007

And so it goes to the final race in Brazil! After being handed the championship on a golden platter by Alonso in Japan, Hamilton screws the pooch in China and thus makes it a horse race with Lewis Hamilton (107 pts) just ahead of Fernando Alonso (103 pts) and Kimi Raikkonen (100 pts).

Lewis Hamilton is an incredible talent. Maybe it's the yellow-helmet-in-a-McLaren thing. His performance in Japan was superb, and it really looked like the championship was going to be settled in China... until he parked it in the pit lane sand trap. The Chequered Flag guys commented that it reminded them of Mansell blowing a tire in Adelaide in '86. I disagree, Mansell's was a mechanical failure. To me it was more like Senna hitting the guardrail in Monaco in '88, or Mansell hitting the engine kill switch while waving to the fans during the final lap in Montreal in '91 - both monumental brain-fades much more similar to Lewis'. Fortunately for Senna, he prevailed and won the title; Mansell wasn't as lucky. Will Lewis' fuck-up mirror that of his hero or his countryman? We'll learn on Oct. 21.

As for Alonso... now there's one special type of dickhead. He finds himself challenged by his rookie teammate, so he resorts to extortion. Then he cries about not getting as much love from the team as does Lewis. Memo to Fernando: No one loves you because you're a fucking asshole who blackmails his boss and says shit like, "I brought to the team half a second, six-tenths, whatever, and I don't see anything giving me back." Really? How about the $30M salary they give you to drive the car? Check your Swiss bank account, maybe then you'll see what McLaren has given you back for that half-second. I haven't had a profound hatred for any driver since I started following this sport, until this asshole came along. I hope he rots.

Far worse than Alonso are his sycophant Spanish fans (see the comments on Ed Gorman's blog if you don't know what I'm talking about) who have a penchant for finding conspiracies so bizzare that the 9-11 Truther moonbats would shake their tin foil-covered heads. Outqualified by Lewis? Must be because Ron Dennis messed with his tire pressure. Or ordered more fuel be put in his tank. Or paid one of the backmarkers to block him. Or hired a Native American rainmaker to spoil his fast lap. Or had aliens abduct him just before each Q3 session and replace him with a slightly more retarded and slower Alonso clone. Whatever the reason, it can't possibly be because Hamilton is simply faster. You know, the funny thing about Spanish sports fans is that they elevate their athletes (including girly F1 drivers like little Fernando) to superhero status in order to make up for the fact that their country is pretty much irrelevant in every other regard. They sort of remind me of Red Sox fans. And the venom they spew about Lewis is as completely irrational as MoveOn.org when they blame Haliburton for everything from hurricanes to their dogs' fleas.

I've been pulling for Hamilton all year, but now I almost wish he and that whiny little bitch Alonso take each other out at the first corner and hand it over to Kimi, who has been the only driver out of this trio to act like an adult this entire season. No excuses for his failures; no bitching about his teammate who, until late in the season, was running neck and neck with him; no emotional meltdowns; no finger-pointing at his team, his boss, or some Vast Kimi-Hating Conspiracy. Maybe it's the stoic Finnish way. Maybe he's drunk. Who cares? When he wins, he does so decisively. And when it comes to owning up to his responsibility when things go bad, he's a friggin' role model compared to those spoiled McLaren brats.

Labels: Motor Sports

posted by Paul @ 10:16 AM